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MY MESSAGE TO MALAYSIANS AND MY “MALAYSIAN IDENTITY” AND WHY I DON’T WANT ANY CONTACT WITH YOU – MALAYSIANS AND THEIR ONLINE HARASSING BEHAVIOUR. SUFIAH YUSOF TERKINI.

My disgust at Malaysians isn’t a “quick judgement”.

This is my personal longer term experience over many years.

When I started on Twitter (2014) I was looking for practical help with media harassment.

Some lawyers and activists in the UK were being more active in speaking out against evil controlling media behaviour (especially with the Leveson Inquiry and the use of social media to call out journalists).

I hoped this would help me with the level of horrific abuse I had experienced from the British media, who had seen my parents were mentally unwell and “decided to abuse me and ruin my mental health” for profit to make a good story.

The major influences on my life weren’t my parents, or mathematics, or Oxford, or my nationality or personal life

But the media, who had basically “put a bounty on my head” and decided to follow me around, publish my details, blackmail me into giving them interviews.

As some readers will know, I left my parents home young (as they had severe issues).

If the media hadn’t been involved that would have been the end of it and I would just have privately got on with things.

Obviously my parents had severe problems and it was sad but I wasn’t “out to denounce them” or “make a living from talking about them“.

But journalists were basically “pretending to make friends with, but manipulate and wind up” my mentally ill parents.

Journalists would stalk me and “give my details to my mentally ill parents and feed them nonsense” to encourage a confrontation which they could then “write about“.

Journalists would find out my location or what I was doing, then give the details to my mentally unwell father and “encourage him to turn up and harass me” (and have a photographer close by to capture the situation).

If I couldn’t be found, they’d run an interview with my mentally unwell parents saying I was a “missing person” to get someone to contact them and give them my details.

This was to punish me for not giving them interviews and ruining their source of profit.

I can never, ever forget the evil of this media abuse – I live WITH the trauma rather than forgetting – and that is why I blog.

The media wanted to write a story on how “OXFORD GIRL HAS LIFE DESTROYED”.

I wasn’t giving them that ending, so they wanted to force it on me.

(and why I sometimes sound very emotional and get carried away when I do have time to Tweet – Paul Dacre’s campaign of abuse against me will always mentally mark me, and I will always feel Keith Gladdis’s gaze on my naked body!).

Abusers are at their most dangerous when their target is “trying to get away from them”.

As soon as the media realised I wasn’t going to agree to “live a life of appearing on talk shows and giving tacky interviews headlined MY CHILD ABUSE OXFORD STORY” they were completely enraged.

Me being stubborn and showing even if I was harassed and stalked and blackmailed I STILL wouldn’t give in and turn my life into a media freak show was making journalists act worse and worse.

This wasn’t “one rogue freelance writer” who wrote a chatty piece I didn’t agree with.

This was powerful men like Paul Dacre clearly discussing with his colleagues at the Guardian, the BBC and the Times how they would have an agenda to ALL work to harass and completely mentally break me.

There is so much media profit associated with setting up and abusing and controlling young women, that me saying NO and standing up for my privacy meant that I had to be punished.

I believe the “movement against media harassment” and the bravery of the Leveson Inquiry participants saved my life.

MY EXPERIENCES ON TWITTER IN 2014 WITH MALAYSIAN FOLLOWERS

I was clear on my intentions when using Twitter.

Obviously I wasn’t expecting miracles but I was “putting myself out there a bit” trying to see if I could protect myself by speaking out and having a voice in the media harassment campaign.

I was completely emotionally desperate at the time.

Keith Gladdis (a former Daily Mail foreign editor) had filmed me naked in 2008 to blackmail me into giving an interview, and attempted to plant cocaine on me.

I had received no help or support, just more abusive journalists all set to “pile in” and hunt me down for profit.

Looking back, I suspect that ALL the newspapers were aware I was living alone and a bit of a wild child and they had “decided together that the News of the World would set me up and do the blackmail and filming, and they could all work together to profit from abusing me more, so the Guardian would have their share too”.

That’s how much the media (led and started by Paul Dacre when I was 12) felt entitled to control me and help themselves to my body and life.

I was 23, I had done nothing wrong, I had never harmed any of them.

But senior editors were furious that I was “showing signs of disobedience” by NOT trying to sell my story and trying to have a life away from them.

I was never “rebelling against my parents, or science, or Oxford, or religion” – I was living dangerously by ignoring the control of someone far more vindictive and powerful – journalists.

As a 12 year old girl, the media had labelled me as a “cash cow” they could profit from abusing and humiliating and basically “living as a modern day freak show“. They could run stories every few months and “toy with me” as if I was a computer game character.

The tabloids would run a nasty piece, then the Guardian would “contact me to offer me my say and a fair story” (and of course the tabloids and the Guardian would be swapping notes so they could work together to both abuse me).

I was determined not to agree to these spiteful media control games, so they became determined to break me.

Starting on Twitter in 2014, I clearly wasn’t “on Twitter to be a celebrity” and was trying to just have a voice.

Every time I posted, I was immediately targeted by Malaysian followers who were monitoring when I was tweeting, and trying to “force me to chat with them” by replying to my Tweets.

Malaysians would never write anything practical and helpful or even relevant to my Tweets.

I was trying to give my experiences of media abuse, and they would ignore this.

Malaysians would just show up on every post and “type rubbish”.

Something like: HI SIS! WE YOUR FAN!

Or asking about my personal life. Or start trying to get my details (even though I was clearly desperate for privacy after years of bullying journalists trying to turn my life into a reality show).

Malaysians showed no respect for my trauma, or what I was trying to do, and were “spending all day spying on my Tweets and forcing themselves on every Tweet“.

Malaysians showed no compassion or understanding for my experiences of being abused by the media.

Anyone “normal” reading my tweets who could practically help with me with the media harassment was put off by the creepy Malaysian faces and stupid Malay messages.

For example, I’d type something serious about a media group.

As soon as I did a stupid ugly Malaysian face would pop up saying “haha I want to chat! Time to move on now sis from past“.

I even had a lawyer say they thought I “lived in Malaysia” due to all the Malaysians deciding to “take my Twitter over and turn it into a Malaysian dominated chat room“.

Malaysians would never retweet/offer support/read or research my messages, just write their stupid retarded messages all over my Tweets.

I cannot express how disgusting this Malaysian behaviour was – I was trying to be brave and get some support.

I was absolutely desperate after years of organised media abuse.

Rather than support me (or at least give me space to do this) stupid, ugly, vile, semi-retarded Malaysians were basically “deciding I was using Twitter as a personal fan club to chat to them and pay them attention”.

The Malaysian attitude was: “we don’t care about your emotional wellbeing, we just want to control and harass you online”.

I have found Twitter useful, but I have ALWAYS had to “manage Malaysians on it“. It’s just Malaysians – they basically dominate the space, I can’t accept replies as Malaysians fill the comments section with their stupid faces?

I am genuinely sick of seeing stupid Malaysian faces dominating the space and frightening everyone else off.

Obviously I don’t need anyone to fight my battles for me. I felt very alone when I started blogging, but I found it did “protect me” over time.

I wasn’t asking for legal funds, or a big campaign when I started speaking out against the media abuse of me.

However, no Malaysian would even reply to one of my Tweets about harassment saying something simple and supportive.

Malaysian people dominated my Twitter (and their behaviour meant I couldn’t connect with anyone else) and wouldn’t contribute anything apart from semi-retarded comments.

Malaysians turned my Twitter into a “room for Malaysians to harass me and follow me and make stupid comments to me“. One Malaysian even said she was “using my Twitter to practice her English“.

Even “general bloggers” not commenting on the media would offer to link to me as a favour. Malaysians wouldn’t even do this.

Malaysians “demanded I connect with them/give them my personal details/help their homeland” whilst giving NO support on everyday harassment I was facing from the British media.

They wouldn’t “retweet” any of my Tweets.

They just wanted to see my photos and try to force me to message them as they “thought I was a celebrity“.

Sometimes, I’d post on something serious (like a journalist harassing me) and was trying to protect myself by tweeting.

I was clearly completely desperate, scared and begging for support against a very powerful abusive person who was “on a well paid mission to harm me”.

British barristers would step forward in contact (I cried when I got my first message like this, after all the years of media abuse).

But the immediate Malaysian “fan” reply?

Not to “help by retweeting” but to “try to turn it into a chat with me and talk about my genius lifestyle and ask if I could help them with their maths homework“.

When I started on Twitter, I felt quite “neutral” towards Malaysians.

My mother is from there, and I have barely spent any time there, but I was open-minded.

The British media is so powerful and dominating and has the resources to damage every part of my life, I wanted to keep about alternative sources of support open.

But after having spent EIGHT years using Twitter and blogging, I have realised NO Malaysians actually care about me being harassed or abused or how I am trying to protect my privacy.

WHAT’S HAPPENED SINCE I STARTED MY BLOG

I thought as I started my blog and Twitter, I was “getting the word out there” and readers would realise I wasn’t “a celebrity” and respect my desire to live in peace.

My blog clearly isn’t to “promote myself” – it’s to write on media harassment and protect me by giving me some way of reporting if a journalist harasses or tries to blackmail me – I owe so many happy private moments to this blog!

(It looks a bit amateur and I’m not Shakespeare but it has had my back.

Bullies thrive in the dark, on isolating their victims, and me speaking out has protected me from Paul Dacre continuing his monstrous abuse campaign – even a few years of peace has been worth it).

As time goes on, I’ve learned others bloggers read what I’ve written and put the information out there and I’m less alone, and it’s helped me a lot and a few tears have been shed.

But Malaysians?

Malaysians ignore EVERYTHING I write about media harassment and trying to protect my privacy.

Whilst STILL obsessing over following me – Malaysians dominate my followers.

No amateur Malaysian blogger ever did a quick piece commenting/following up on the media harassment I had faced.

They DID have time and energy to “write about my private life” and “print every detail about me” and “humiliate me and turn me into a freak by trying to debate if I was a successful prodigy or not“.

Even after me blogging continuously and focussing on media harassment for EIGHT years, Malaysians refuse to acknowledge this at all.

EVERY Malaysian follower is here “to look for my private details and harass me“.

EVERY Malaysian follower is here “to see if they could find out about Oxford“.

MY “MALAYSIAN” IDENTITY (AND MALAYSIAN ONLINE FANTASISTS)

Ok. If you read the above, you might think I’m VERY connected to Malaysia.

There is a HUGE amount of media coverage on me in Malaysia. Malaysian names dominate my Twitter followers.

Here’s the key fact.

I’ve hardly been to Malaysia (less than a year in total). My mother has Malaysian ethnic heritage but has lived most of her life abroad.

Unfortunately, there is clearly something very, very mentally wrong with Malaysians when it comes to the internet.

I read somewhere Malaysians “got access to the Internet before becoming a developed country” and along with (some) levels of English, meant they developed a culture of being total “Internet fantasists”.

From the level of Malaysian media coverage of me and the Malaysians dominating my space online, you’d think I was there half the year, or spent my childhood there, or have a Malaysian passport.

It’s all Malaysian online fantasy and making things up.

I’m not “a runaway Malaysian trying to be a new person” or “choosing Western values” or “rejecting Malaysia my homeland“.

I’VE NEVER EVEN LIVED IN MALAYSIA. I don’t speak the language, I’ve never expressed any strong interest in the country, I’ve only visited it as an adult with a partner working nearby.

(The only “connection” I should have with Malaysia is them giving me a public apology for online harassing and abusing me as a child/young woman who wasn’t even part of their country).

Then just leave me alone.

I have NEVER criticised Malaysian behaviour in public until now

As I had more pressing issues, and I thought as I’m not living close to there I thought “it doesn’t matter it’s just a bit weird“.

But it’s gone too far?

I can accept that there was a lot of weird stuff happening as a young woman, and that made weird people drawn to me. That is something I live with. I have a good life now.

The sensationalist dishonest media coverage was “designed” so others would harass me and I would be bullied. They’d claim I was a “Malaysian Muslim person” as they knew that would be “clickbait” and “mean people harassed me more“. Spite is a journalists currency.

So I thought if I took some time, communicated clearly I was not a public figure that would be it.

Here we are…. EIGHT YEARS have passed, I blog saying I live a quiet life, clearly not Malaysian or talking about work/education.

And stupid Malaysians STILL live in their fantasy world online harassing me.

Weird Malaysian fantasists “pretend” I am some “mysterious genius figure” who will be returning to tour my homeland Malaysia (so some creepy weirdos can scream OXFORD GENIUS at me on the street!).

I’ve done well, but would be ashamed and horrified to have Malaysians anywhere NEAR my work or personal life – their bizarre behaviour completely humiliates me.

Malaysians on YouTube make clips about me regularly, as if they are “waiting to find out about me” like deranged animals and stalkers and I “need to give them an update“.

This is the only “life update” I give to Malaysians – Stop stalking me you freaks! I am nothing to do with you and your crazy fantasies.

I am SICK of this.

If I do anything online, immediately a stupid Malaysian name and face pops up. Then another, then another….

I slightly changed my YouTube settings, and immediately there was a “Malaysian people waiting to write comment after comment“.

Malaysian people are basically sitting there for YEARS “waiting to see me active online” so they can start writing total garbage at me.

I’ve tried to ignore them, block them…their ugly desperate faces still keep coming.

What is wrong with them? I can’t accept replies on my Twitter, and couldn’t use it for a while as Malaysians just sat there replying to EVERYTHING I wrote (not actually replying or reading, just typing complete garbage).

Obviously I accept some online weird behaviour is “normal and most of my life is offline.

But Malaysian online fantasists take it to a new level.

This isn’t “one comment from one person” which then “dies down” if I ignore it over time.

This is retarded Malaysians sitting there “monitoring me so they can trap me online” and popping their stupid faces up to “force me to listen to them“.

If I act politely they send fifty messages “making demands“. If I ignore, block….they just start trying to force contact and find some other means.

I have politely, time after time said I’m “not a celebrity“, I don’t talk about my personal life, live privately… Malaysians just ignore this.

I got some friends to have a look at some of the “Malaysian media coverage” of me and someone commented that “these people are actually retarded/delusional/need psychiatric help”.

Online Malaysians regularly pompously write/wrote how they were “deciding what to do with me” and how my engagement with the Malaysian community was being managed in this way, and this decision was being made on me and my future within the Malaysian community.

As if I was “there” and I was regularly communicating with them, and concerned about Malaysian opinions and my place within their homeland and my community.

For the record – I have no Malaysian friends, no Malaysian has my contact details, I probably had lunch or coffee with a Malaysian person maybe nine years ago…

Funnily enough, this is quite normal behaviour for someone like me who isn’t Malaysian, doesn’t live in Malaysia or anywhere near, and has never done!

But there is something seriously, seriously wrong with Malaysians and their “over-active” imaginations and desire to online control and harass people who are NOTHING to do with their country.